Separation anxiety in toddlers is normal

Dr Frances Gibson

Separation anxiety is a common phase of early childhood, but something that is unsettling for parents and often leaves them feeling guilty and upset.

Institute of Early Childhood Lecturer, Dr Frances Gibson, who is part of the child development team, was recently called upon by a new industry magazine to give her perspective on separation anxiety.

“Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development and is there because it is part of our attachment behaviour system,” explains Gibson. “Separation anxiety is saying ‘hey you’re important to me, you’re my safe base, and you’re the person I can count on'.”

When does separation anxiety commence?

From six months of age infants get warier about people with whom they are not so familiar. By about nine months, they have a strong awareness of people with whom they have no attachment.

According to Gibson, separation anxiety really starts as the infant becomes more mobile. Children need to explore and play to learn and develop, but they also need to know how to signal their primary caregiver and be confident that person will come and help them.

“Separation anxiety is really a healthy, protective thing,” she says. “It is important that they be anxious, ‘where is the person who needs to look after me?’ It’s a way of balancing their need to explore and learn, but also keep them safe.”

Separation anxiety and childcare

Preparation is the best plan for parents who are starting their child in day care. “If they are going in as a toddler they might need quite a bit more time to develop a relationship with another caring adult,” Gibson explains.

Experts suggest that parents should stay at the centre for a period of time over a few weeks and slowly withdraw themselves rather than leaving abruptly. So what is abrupt? To date there has only been a small amount of research on what is abrupt and what is lenient.

According to Gibson, abrupt would be something under an hour for a toddler who doesn’t know the centre as it could arouse a lot of anxiety and stress in a child.

“Reaction varies of course from child to child, but between 12 months and two years of age the attachment system is very active,” she says.

Transitional objects

Children will often find their sense of autonomy, independence and feeling of security through favoured objects.

“You have to call them objects as they are not always toys and blankets, sometimes they are bits of cotton or rubber,” Gibson explains. “These transitional objects are seen to represent something safe, something secure, their family, some part of their base.”  Children will often take these objects with them to preschool or day care.

Where does it end?

“Even as adults we have some sense of separation anxiety when we go away to unfamiliar places without our family or friends, but we can cope with it,” Gibson says. “But as children, around the age of three they will be getting better able to negotiate and manage separations from their parents as their language develops. However, their attachment system will be aroused if they sense a threat.”

For further information on courses offered by the Institute of Early Childhood visit their website: http://www.aces.mq.edu.au/iec/

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